just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
