I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
that's an acceptable place to lick
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
