he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
