Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
