i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
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What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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