He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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