He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
