my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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