Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
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i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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