Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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