i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
