My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
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She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
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We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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