Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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