dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
