Who did Billy Mays play for?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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