My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
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its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
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It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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