I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
