I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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