glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
