we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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