craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
