help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
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