yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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