He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I did not marry a roomba.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
