Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
