I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
