but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
