Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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