im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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