Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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