4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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