return my video game
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
