ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
