i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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