Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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