new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
