I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
