she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
