does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You're like the curious george of whores
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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