Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I forget how to act sober
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