Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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