Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.

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(925): View more from California

you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.

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(949): View more from California

He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile

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(208): View more from Idaho

booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.

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(757): View more from Virginia

Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.

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(905): View more from Ontario

You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing

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(609): View more from New Jersey

i had to flash a cab last night.

(415): View more from California

did it work?

(609): View more from New Jersey

No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.

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