instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
