Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
