people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
