Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
