Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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