There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize