Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
