Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
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