Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
