I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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