thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
