What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
