my mouth tastes like poor choices
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Randomize
