Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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