I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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