I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
