I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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