Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
