Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
