the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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