it's like russian roulette but with a penis
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
